Mixed emotions

It was appropriate that I ended my study of Matthew's gospel today as this will be my last blog for a few days. Tomorrow I leave Texas for a new task in Illinois. Actually it is not a new task, just a new area to live out the task. As I was reading Matthew 28 I was drawn to the story of the women in the passage. After they had encountered an angel of the Lord and he had given them a task, the Scripture records that they were "afraid yet filled with joy." I think these words pretty much sum up what I am experiencing today. I leave with mixed emotions. I have a fear of the unknown, not just with where I am going, but with what I will do. I have made some mistakes in the past and been involved in some churches that were less than friendly. Sometimes our past haunts us and keeps us afraid of the unknown. I think I am like so many others and experience the same emotions as they do. People often think that pastors are super spiritual and would never have mixed emotions, especially fear, but yet we do (have mixed emotions) and we are not (super spiritual.) We are just like everyone else and we have fears and anxieties as well. Along with the fear there is this ovewhelming joy that fills me up. Joy that I am getting to do what I have been called to do. Joy that God can still use me in His kingdom work. Not joy from arrogance, but joy that comes from the inner peace that God supplies. I am excited about what lies ahead to see how God is going to work in me and through me, but more importantly what HE is going to do in and through Lynwood Baptist Church. My new family in Illinois has touched my heart and I am excited to be able to work alongside them as we strive to be everything God has intended. So fear and joy grip my life as I leave. But here is the important lesson: I am leaving. I am being obedient. The women were obedient to the task given them and Jesus appeared to them in their fear and encouraged them. The first thing Jesus said to them was "Do not be afraid" then he reaffirmed their task. This is so like Jesus, meeting us right where we are with exactly what we need to hear. For me the affirmation was revealed in the Great Commission "As I am going I am to make disciples, baptize them, teach them and remember that Jesus is with me everywhere I go for all of eternity." How about you? Do you allow your fear and doubts to freeze you in your tracks? Learn a lesson from these women, be obedient even when your emotions seem to be against you. Don't allow you fear to keep you from experiencing all that God has in store for you. We will talk again in a few days.